Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Not even a week after I wrote a post exulting in the fact that the world famous groundhog had not seen his shadow, and therefore spring was on the way, the Northeast was hit with a giant snowstorm. How he reached this highest level of groundhog achievement is a mystery to me since he is OBVIOUSLY A  FAKE.

The night before, Adri and I went to see Side Effects, and everything was closing down early, they even cancelled all the movies past the 5 o'clock showings. This is the view from the movie theatre a couple of blocks way from us. And yes, that is THAT Apollo Theatre.

Later that night, shit started to get real.

We wanted to take Winston, Adri's puppy out into the snow to see what he thought about it. He has this fancy puffer coat and these cute little boots so Adri got him all dressed up to go out. You can see the pain and anger in his eyes.

The next morning, I went out bright and early to see what all had happened, it actually wasn't too much snow. We had a worse blizzard a few winters ago, but everything was still beyoootiful. As a Georgia girl I am still entranced and in love with snow.

This is a cute French bistro on my block called Cedric that was just too picturesque. 

See?! Look at those Icicles! I die. Cedric was recently closed for a bit because of a Christmas-tree-malfunction-small-fire-I-think incident, but it just reopened, so yay for them! Go eat some delicious french cuisine there and support their reopening.

I have one main obsession when it snows and that is to find the freshest untouched powder and be the first one to mess it up. So you can imagine my excitement when I found this wonderland.

It's a school courtyard that was MINE ALL MINE. I went berserk just running around for a few minutes, then I decided to show my affection for this enchanted place.

When I went back to wake Adri up and get her outside, I told her about my magical find, but when we returned, some evil snowshovelers and snowplow men had locked it up. THEY ARE THE ENEMY. One of my favorite kid movies very accurately portrays them as such.

I found these snow covered slides and could not resist tempation, but when I climbed them and tried to step out, I realized they were straight up metal, you know the ones that burn your ass in the summer, and there was no way to get any grip to crawl out, so I did what any sensible person would do and went down backwards. I landed up upside down and it was AMAZEBALLS until my ungloved hands (I had taken them off once they got too soaked) started to BURN LIKE THE FIRE OF MORDOR. I ran screaming back to Adri to unzip my coat so I could warm them with my boob heat. I'm nothing if not practical.

So that was my snow day. Here I am looking like an angel.

I'm wishing and hoping that this happens at least one more time. One winter we had 4 huge snows. It was bliss. Last year we had none, it was bullshit. You're such a bitch, Global Warming.

Anyway, if anyone knows any spells or moon chants that bring on snow, I'm all ears.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Considering my last post (over a week ago) was about how much I'm hating winter, I obviously couldn't get anything done until Mr. Groundhog gave me some good news. I have gotten a bit done though, I've been to an audition, cleaned my room, started my tax return, finished catching up on How I Met Your Mother, and hibernated a good bit.

I've also taken up adding Bitch or Bitches to the end of every sentence so as to emulate Jesse Pinkman from Breaking Bad. I'm really missing that sassy bitch.

So go forth in good spirits knowing that soon, the temperature might rise above freezing. Unless, you're one of my friends in Chicago. You're gonna be cold forever, bitches.

I'm depressed, confused, and more than a little lost. I'm trying to figure out my life while still completely hating/not understanding the term "grown-up". But it's all good cause I know I'm not the only one. I'm Harper. Join me as I eat bacon and try to figure out ways to fuck up my life a little less.

Mah Twittah

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